Ode to the 20 Piece Chicken Nuggets for 4.99
Ode to the 20 piece chicken nuggets for 4.99
So humbly you present yourself with such a modest fine
So unjustly you are looked down upon by those silly pompous vegetarians
Oh, they are simply jealous grocery shopping barbarians
Jealous of the designer label that adorns the treasure chest in which you rest
No vegetarian will ever earn the privilege of wearing those golden arches on their breasts
And neither will those free range animal breeding
Artificial hormone-less skinny cow raising
Lowly farmers or their paranoid customers
Planting under the sun all summer
Humans – the most intelligent beings on the planet – celebrate you
They make movies about you
They take beauty shots of your crispy exterior
That breaks into your steamy white fleshy interior
I break the threshold of the ordinary
Every time I bite into your savory mouthwatering body
You may not know your tremendous authority
Because you blend so naturally in to the American society
However, body guards surround you in your every move
They are great men dressed in expensive suits
To defend you against the activist cooks (“coocoo”)
who write lengthy legislations and ridiculous books
But why are the American people trying to shoo
It hurts our economy when profits fall through
I guess they simply can not see
The bigger picture past obesity
Animal cruelty
And I guess an unhealthy reality
But to that I say, “What about profitability!”
You’re so economically friendly
You provide for the common family
And may I note, rather rapidly
So ignore what the future may hold
Those warnings can get so very old
It’s better to keep some secrets untold
That way there’s excitement as the story unfolds
With you front and center of the arches made of gold
So sit back
Get fat
Then squeeze those colons out right flat
Because who freaking gives a shat?
-Soo
(
11 months ago)
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